TudorTimesSEv3n4

Bret Favre was livid. After all, the Packers were in the middle of a drive for a potential tying score. "Of all the scatterbrain...." (the rest of Favre's comments will not be published here). Favre went over to the officials and began some quick negotiations. He won! Favre convinced the officials and the Commissioner to at least wait until halftime to begin the stadium renovations. Once play resumed, Favre decided he would fool the Colts defense with an unexpected quarterback sneak right up the middle. The Colts fooled Favre! The defensive line surged forward with such force it made Favre grab Davenport with his outstreched arm and they started doing a square dance that would make Billy Bob Thornton proud! Favre spun and wheeled in circles with Davenport all the way back to the Packer 30-yd. line before the laughing Hardaway could grab the gameboard switch to turn it off. Forward progress was stopped at the line of scrimmage, so play would resume at the Colts' 28-yd. line again. "That's gonna look sweet on the highlight films!" Favre told Davenport as they laughed their way back to the huddle. This time Favre would go back to his main weapon--rocketball! Under a heavy rush, Favre nailed Davenport just past the line of scrimmage. He was engaged under the old rules. But with the new solitiare rules, the back of the defender's base touching does not count. Davenport was open! The defense made all their adjustments including the defender who was allowed to line up touching Davenport's base. He would either be (more)

a receiver wide open with no one between him and the goal line! This would be a back-snapping score! But he missed the pass! What the? Peyton Manning is human! Unbelievable! The Colts had the lead so they chose not to risk it and punt the ball away. Green Bay would have just 3 plays left in regulation play, so a good deep punt would be fine with the Colts. But the Colts drew a "doink" card out of the Punt card deck! A lousy 39-yard shanker went directly to Ahman Green at his 32. Green ran the punt back a killer 30 yards and only Edgerrin James saved the touchdown. Green Bay had the ball at the Indy 38. Just to drive the ball a little closer for a Favre strike, the Packers went to Ground Green again. But the Colt line held tough and pushed the Packers backwards, causing Green to "do the U" again! He lost four yards. It was now second and fourteen at the Colt 42. Favre popped another quick pass to Davenport slipping out of the backfield and the Packer back pounded out 19 yards picking up another clutch first down. Now Green Bay was at the Indy 23 and this was the last play of regulation time. Favre decided to call the same play. Davenport was wide open! Touchdown Packers! Knowing the Colts still had their two timeout plays left and knowing how dangerous Manning was, the Packers decided to go for two to create a 3-point lead. The Colts covered everybody and Favre had no one to throw to. However, the left side of the field was wide open and Favre scrambled across the goal line for a successful conversion! Green Bay had the lead 22-19, and the Colts immediately called their timeout.

Indianapolis then called its first timeout play counting on a good kick return to set up field position that would be advantageous for a score. Once again, thanks to Chris LeMay's kicking cards (See ShopShack to buy your own!) the Packers booted a 55-yarder. Edgerrin James fielded the ball at the Colt 15 and ran back a healthy 36 yards before going out of bounds. Once again, the Colts' special teams blocking cleared the path down the middle, but James refused the easy TD and curved his bad self on out of bounds instead! The Colts were forced to call their final timeout play, but Manning was as calm and cool as ever. "Brandon, you slip open out of the backfield again and we'll torch these cheeseheads!" Peyton said in the huddle. Sure enough Stokely was incredibly wide open and Manning nailed him for a 49- yard touchdown strike to put the Colts back in the lead! Indy opted to go for two, again supremely confident their offensive line would blow the Packers off the line for the short two yards that would be needed.

This next play would be the last one before halftime, in regulation play. Of course, both teams still had their two timeout plays left if needed. Favre stood in place on his stationary base 15 yards behind the line and patiently waited for a receiver to break open on third and ten. Ahman Green did just that and was clear on the near sideline. Favre tagged him with a perfect shot and there was nothing between Green and the goal line. Except perhaps some more dust particles on the field. Green buzzed for 31 yards and then performed an embarrsing "U" to kill the score! Now the Packers would have to use a timeout play. "Hey men, let's show 'em they're not the only ones who can blow people off the line. Let's run this one in!" Favre said to his troops in the huddle. Green Bay was at the Indianapolis 8 yard line with a first and goal. Favre handed to Davenport and the Packer line blocked perfectly to let Davenport scoot in, untouched, for an easy score. Green Bay did not miss their extra point and now had the lead 14-13(see photo below). Undaunted, Manning was confident the Colts could score with just one play.

This is the first time something has ever interfered directly with a solitaire game. There was an incident in a league competition game last year in the Houston EFL. In a Packers-Steelers game, young Marky Klingbeil bit one of Coach Hardaway's Green Bay Packers in the middle of a game and lifted him off the field in his mouth. "I was lucky to pop my player out of his mouth before any arms or legs were snapped," Hardaway said recalling the slobbery incident. "We live in a crazy world these days!" Regarding today's game

the Commissioner said, "I never thought I would see this sort of thing in electric football. There were bases flying off, unpainted players coming off my workbench, just an incredible sight." There must be something in the air this year in all sports regarding the fans. It's a very bizzarre time in sports everywhere.

When asked if there would be fines against any of the players the Commissioner answered with a strong "No!" Hardaway added, "It is clear that this fan was out of line and out of his mind. In fact, I would have jumped in there myself to crack some noggin' but I didn't want to warp my 620 board!"

The fans went wild as the new plywood support was installed under the stadium! The cardboard electric football enthusiasts gave Commissioner Hardaway a rousing standing ovation as the board went in perfectly and looked fantastic. All the fans got to enjoy the nice smell of fresh-cut wood for the rest of the game.

"At first it was like a roller coaster ride when the stadium was lifted up to make way for the plywood support base," one unnamed fan commented. "I kind of had butterflies in the belly, but I knew the field would not get dropped so I was not worried!"

Another fan, Suzanne Backorder exclaimed, "I'm just so glad to get out of that cold, dark box that's been in the closet for months!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I fully appreciate the lifetime season tickets I have, but I'd rather be out here watching more games. I think with this new plywood base, the Commissioner will get more games in now."

"This is really saweet!" Peyton Manning said. "I'm gonna chunk me some really wicked passes now because the receivers are going to have an even smoother ride on the field surface!" (more)

process and bubbled up the front set. But then I watched him carefully use the flat fingernail clippers and the needlenose pliers to fix 'em up. I have to admit, after I glided around the field in pre-game warmups, it felt kind of good under my feet. It was a very smooth, comfortable buzzing sensation and not so much vibration like I felt when the original brown dial was under there." Hardaway had replaced the original dial with an ITZ Skillz dial instead. Every brown TTC has an ITZ dial in it, but the linemen have the Mangler dials. "These same dials will be tweaked for game play and then transferred to the new ProLine TTCs when they arrive from Miggle this week," Hardaway added. Peyton has a great attitude about all this. "Hey, I just want to play the game," he says. "I need to get my feet used to the buzzing and how the vibrations play out on this 620 field as soon as possible. Besides, I know the new bases will be in this week and we'll have them for the rest of the season, so this minor change is no big deal to me. I can tell already that Stokely and Harrison are going to get open a lot from watching them warm up, so it's my job to connect on the passes."

The Game: The Colts won the toss. Tight end Marcus Pollard fielded a nice 57-yard kick at his own 13-yard line. Colt blocking upfield was spectacular and all Packers were cleared to the sidelines, giving Pollard open field and a straight shot all the way to the goal line! Would this be a touchdown on the Colts' very first play? It sure looked that way. Pollard began building speed up the middle of the field when the unthinkable happened! Colt linebacker Jim Nelson (a defensive back figure) pinwheeled and hooked Pollard's outstretched arm (a running back, a.k.a. Heisman Trophy posed figure). Then, a Colt running back stopped his forward progress and a Colt tackle impacted the group ensuring a complete turnaround to the opposite direction. I cannot write what Pollard was screaming as he buzzed embarrassingly out of bounds behind his own end zone. Forward progress spotted the ball at the Colt 28-yard line and Pollard was credited with a 15-yard return. Bret Favre was laughing so hard he fell down on the sidelines. This was certainly an "expansion-looking" play to start off with for the Colts. (more)

(Houston, TX) "I cannot express how thrilling it was to enter my second year of playing electric football on Thanksgiving!" HSEFL Commissioner Glenn Hardaway gleamed. "This year it was even more special as it just so happened to feature the Packers against the Colts, the first two real NFL teams I ever owned back in 1968!" Old, but new as well since this was the first-ever meeting between these two new ProLine 67 Big Man teams. This version of the Colts also hails from Indianapolis, not Baltimore. It was also the very first game for the new "expansion" Colts going up against an experienced and veteran Packer squad. The game was not without its challenges right from the start. There was an equipment problem with Indianapolis as the league was completely out of ProLine TTC bases. The league made a quick decision to substitute the old Superior brown TTC bases for this game only, in order to get the game played on time. There was some debate about waiting for the new order of ProLine bases to arrive from Miggle, but it was decided it would be more important to play the game and maintain tradition, albeit a new one. And, speaking of new traditions, this game would mark the first time the Colts put a team on the metal gridiron that did not have either John Unitas or Earl Morrall behind the center. This game would feature newcomer Peyton Manning calling the signals. Manning took the pre-game "equipment challenge" in stride. "At first I was a little concerned when Hardaway torched the prongs in the tweaking

Any embarrassment the Colts felt was completely removed on their first play from scrimmage. The amazing Peyton Manning switched to a stationary base and cooly waited in the pocket for his receivers to get open. He was confident he would have one or more targets free and, sure enough, Edgerrin James slid out of the backfield getting open in the flat. Manning nailed him to complete his first pass and James ripped dowfield for 61 yards before going out of bounds. No one was near him! Suddenly the upstart Colts had a first and ten at the Green Bay 11-yard-line.

The next play was the most incredible line blocking I've ever seen in all my years of electric football. The Colts line blew out the Packers in two different directions opening up the middle like the parting of the Red Sea. James ran straight up the gut untouched for an effortless touchdown! The Colts were running a blocking clinic from perfect blocking on the kickoff, to the first pass play to the first running play! Green Bay was stunned, and GreenBayGlenn was stunned!

It was time for the Packers to settle things down and get momentum going in their favor. Indianapolis shanked the kick as it slithered for just 35 yards. Defensive end Jamal Williams was lined up to return block and was quite surprised when he wound up with the ball. As soon as the switch turned on he went just 7 yards and tripped forward into a dreaded "base wheelie", pinwheeled and reversed direction to end the play. This is a common problem with the new Big Man guard figures. "#$@*! I hate being top heavy!" Williams cursed as he headed for the bench in disgust. At least the Packers had good field position taking possession at their own42.

Momentum was denied as the powerful Colt front line blasted through the Packers and Tarik Glenn canned Ahman Green behind the line for a yard loss. Thinking that was a fluke, the Packers called the same play again. This time Indy defensive end Brad Scioli buffaloed Green for six more yards in the wrong direction. Green Bay was faced with a third and 17 from their 35. But then, Bret Favre performed his magic. He power-drilled Najeh Davenport who broke into the clear. The impact of Favre's pass knocked him down! A typical Favre cannon pass. There was no Colt defender near.

Getting back up on his base, Davenport was clear for a touchdown. He ripped off 42 yards before teammate Ahman Green sped downfield with bad intent. Green kablammed Davenport driving him out of bounds to prevent a sure touchdown! Don't you just love the bone-head plays some of these plastic guys come up with at the worst possible times? LOL! Davenport is going to be on Sports Center now because he definitely got---JACKED UP! (...more...)

Confident they could get the running game going, the Packers handed off to Davenport. Tarik Glenn blasted through the line again and kapowed the Packer back for a five yard loss. Glenn is an offensive tackle by trade, but the Colts were "going both ways" in this game due to an old school 11-man roster (really a cheap Commissioner not ordering enough players!). Glenn was making a name for himself on defense in this game.

2nd Quarter

It was second down in the second quarter....hold on a second! LOL!

Suddenly, the refs halted the game with an official timeout. Commissioner Hardaway suddenly decided to go to Home Depot and get a custom cut piece of plywood to support the stadium. This would be much better than the precarious situation now where the 620 board is perched atop the weakening cardboard box that it came in. This was done for balance since the edges of the board hang over the card table being used and the motor makes the field lean when placed directly on the table. The box solves the balance problem but alas, the 4 plastic legs of the gameboard are eating into the weak cardboard of the box creating a sink hole situation. "Hey, since this game was a sellout (aren't they all? LOL!) I decided to make our loyal cardboard fans as comfortable as possible!" the Commissioner said. (...more...)

downed instantly or he would surge forward and escape to keep running. Seven or 8 Colt defenders were adjusted and the Packer receiver was surrounded. Every Colt defender had a great angle to cut him off. But, when the switch was turned on, Davenport bolted to freedom and jetted into the end zone for a Packer touchdown! The dice was rolled (the new extra piont method in the league) and it was a 6. Good! (Everything is good on an extra point except for a one). The Packers had tied the game and taken a lot of time off the clock, which is a good idea when you're up against Peyton Manning and company! Favre was hot for this game, so it promised to be a great one.

Once again, it was back to the Chris LeMay kicking cards! But first, Favre came over on the sidelines and elbowed me in the ribcage, cupped his hand over his mouth and made like he was telling me a secret. "Hey, Swamp Moose, you can go ahead and tackle that stadium project now!" Favre said with a cheshire cat grin on his face. "You know I could go for some breakfast right now," I answered. I decided to check with Peyton first to be fair on this. "Hey, I don't mind," Manning told me. "It might actually work out better for us to have that stable playing field. Go ahead!" Man, that Peyton Manning is just a class act all the way! (...more...)

In a shocking development, a crazed fan whipped out a Bud Light Extend-A-Arm and snatched up one of the Colts players! Linebacker Jim Nelson was getting ready for the kickoff return when he was nabbed by the strange metallic claw. The Colts players instinctively blitzed the crowd to save their teammate. It was an unbelievable scene as Colt players dove into the seats to pummel the deranged fan who grabbed Nelson. Packers, the kicker, and even a pair of unpainted big men jumped into the fray. Police arrested the pummeled fan. The kicker had his leg snapped off in the incident and was taken to the wooden TV tray for repairs. Fortunately, Nelson was not injured. "I did feel kind of woozy while I was being slung around up there," Nelson said. The fan has been arrested and the Extend-A-Arm has been returned to the lighted magnifying lamp the Commissioner uses to paint teams.

(...continued...)

EF Fans Gone Wild! The Bud Light Extend-A-Arm strikes in the middle of the Colts-Packers game shortly after the game was interrupted for renovations. The Colts linebacker was unharmed, but was a little stunned from the incident. There is just something wierd happening with fans in all sports these days. Regarding the Colts piling into the seats to pummel the deranged fan, the Commissioner said this: "I never thought I would see this sort of thing in electric football." Below, almost everyone gets in on the act: Colts, Packers, the kicker and even a couple of unpainted men!

Finally things settled back down again after the melee. Green Bay booted a 67-yard kick down to the Colt 3-yard-line where Edgerrin James fielded it. The Colts blocking opened up the middle of the field in perfect special teams play, but James scooted just 39 yards before curving out of bounds. You know, I did blow off the sawdust from that new board I put under the 620 field, but it would have been a good idea to do a light Windex and paper towel dusting of the field. And, I normally at least lightly finger-brush the prongs before a runback. My bad! Sorry Edgerrin! Hardaway sheepishly removed the fur ball from the prongs as he retrieved James from the sidelines. Peyton Manning alluded to some wicked passes coming to open receivers earlier. Now, he backed it up!

On first down Peyton lofted a felt spiral neatly between the shoulder blades of a super wide-open Brandon Stokely who glided unchallenged into the end zone for a 53-yard Colt strike! Manning's 2 passes so far included a 61-yard bomb and a touchdown strike! However, Indy blew the extra point! They actually rolled a "1" on the die. A killer fluke in this kind of game!

Indy's kick went 47 yards where it was field by Green Bay's Najeh Davenport standing on his 23-yard-line. He ran the kick back 38 yards before he was involuntarily escorted out of bounds by Colt DT Josh Williams. Favre raced back into the huddle anxious to get the Packers going again. On first down, Favre had cornerback Mike McKenzie (what's he doing on offense?) wide open on the far sideline. The pass sailed off the board and into a bookcase on the wall bouncing off my "The World According To Groucho Marx" book. On 2nd down, Favre had plenty of time to throw and Davenport was open down the middle of the field. The familiar sound of felt pinging metal could be clearly heard. Another incompletion. The Packers appeared to be stalling at the Colt 39. (It would have been cool if I could have typed 'Colt 45'! lol!)

They did. But James had "curvature of the prongs" and did that terrible "U thang" again! Minus three yards--no good! Colts were up 19-14 now. Green Bay knew they had a kick returner from their HEFL competition team who consistently ran kickoffs back all the way. Ahman Green would be called upon once again as the Packers used their final timeout play of the half. Indy needed a good kick as their kickoffs so far in this game were far from impressive. They got it! A 70-yard thunder-booter pushed Green back to his own goal line. This would have to be a 100-yard return. Green Bay cleared the middle of the field for him to set it up. Green ran right down the middle to the 10, the 20, the 30, the 40, he could go all the..........DOH! Out of bounds! Half over!

INDIANAPOLIS-19 GREEN BAY -14.

Green Bay had a great chance to make a go-ahead score as the Packers were receiving the kick to start the second half. There was no question who the return man would be. The Colts had a good kick sailing 64 yards. Green had a good return scorching the metal for 33 yards to set the Packers up with great field position. The Packers went through a thorough strategy session during the halftime and it was decided that the best thing to do in the second half was to keep Peyton Manning off the field. It would be a ball control attack by the Packers this half. The Packers put in their "Ground Green" offense. This is the offense where Ahman Green gets the ball on every play no matter what. It meant the Pack had huge confidence in their offensive line. On first down at the Green Bay 39, Green ran into a wall of blockers that were holding their ground but going nowhere. Suddenly, Green reversed his direction and while the blockers held the line, he reeled off 23 yards for a highlight reel first-down! He got it again at the Colt 38 and just missed another first down by a mere yard. On both plays Green was untouched and had simply run out of bounds. It was second and one and Green got it again. But this time dem yahds wuz hard earned! He only ground out three before Indy's Williams had had enough. But Green did not have enough yet. He got it again and bolted off the line behind good blocking again for a healthy 13-yard scamper that brought the ball down to the Colts' 13 yard-line, and yet another Packer first down. Ground Green was working perfectly. The Pack was chowing down big time on the clock, and it did taste like chicken! Just 3 plays remained in the 3rd quarter and Green got dragged to the metal turf by Williams again, this time picking up just a pair of pickeled pepper Packer pickings! Now the Packers were at the 11, and threatening to run in the go-ahead score. Green got it again to no one's surprise, but what was surprising was the power surge by the Colt defensive line on this play. Not one Colt penetrated the line but they were able to swing the entire Packer blocking team in a semi-circle and it made Green do a U-turn and he lost eight yards! Now the Packers had a 3rd and 16 all of a sudden, after a fine blocking demonstration this entire quarter. Suddenly they had a small challenge on their hands. Favre and company were forced into a passing situation on the last play of the third quarter. Favre calmly waited for his receivers to break open downfield. He waited too long and got sacked! It was none other than Jim Nelson who obviously had recovered completely now from the tragic Bud Light arm incident of the first half. (see photo below)

Now it was fourth down and some serious real estate to cover for the Packers. Favre would have to pass again. This time he fired a short one to Davenport who was still behind the line but he had blockers in front of him. Favre was being pressured by Williams who then turned around after the completion and ran down Davenport who only managed a five-yard gain. The Colts took over on downs! After all that clock eating and running domination, the Packers had nothing to show for it and the Colts were still ahead 19-14!

"Let's give 'em some of their own medicine now and chew clock," Manning suggested in the Indianapolis huddle. The Colts put Stokely in the backfield and handed him the ball. He got nothing. Marco Rivera broke through and put him down. Next it was time to try Edgerrin James. This time Packer tackle Mark Tauscher blasted in and sat James down for a one-yard loss. Now the Colts were forced into a passing situation. Not a problem for them as dangerous as Peyton Manning had been this entire game! Manning had

The only thing that could mess up the Packers now would be a good runback or a lousy kick, or even both! As the kicking card was drawn, the lousy kick worry materialized--a silly 38-yard slip! To make matters worse it landed right into the hands of Marcus Pollard who ran the kick down the right sideline for an incredible 46 yards to the Packer 22-yard line running out of bounds on what could have easily been a touchdown! There was just one play left in the game as the Colts called their last timeout play. The Packers could not have been more nervous. Manning could not have been more confident. This looked to be an easy chip shot throw for him and his receivers had been getting open the entire game. "OK, let's do it guys!" Manning said in the huddle trying to hold back a giant smile. Manning went through all the finger pointing and fake movements he's so well known for. He calmly dropped back to pass and waited for a receiver to break for the end zone. But wait! The Packer defense had shut down every single Colt receiver! Green Bay also rounded up the Colt line and forced them to the near sideline. Manning would have to run it in! Favre had the angle on him and McKenzie was in the end zone but also had a straight shot. Manning ran slower than the IRS mailing a tax refund check! He angled into the pile of linemen being held up by Green Bay and defensive end Jamal Reynolds put the hit on Manning for no gain to end the game! Packers win!

The Tudor Times Solitaire Edition caught up with Bret Favre in the lockerroom after the game for a brief interview. He gave his thoughts on this new Colts team. "These guys are good, don't get me wrong," Favre said. "Once their new bases come in and their extra 11 players, they're going to be very very tough to play." When asked about how the team was feeling finally getting a victory after so many disappointing losses, Favre had this to say: "Well, I mean nothing is better than a win. I'll take a close one like this over a loss any day. Since we are going to be playing in this league only now, it's good to get a win at this time to get a jump on things." Favre did not seem upset at all that Coach Hardaway was going with a different Packer squad for his competition team next season. "All I want to do is play," Favre said. "I don't care what league, or whether it's HEFL or the Solitaire league, just get me out there on that metal board and let me do my thing. Now I know I'll get to play in every game and that's a good deal for me!"

Peyton Manning remained level headed even after a heart-stopping loss. He refused to blame the loss on the Colts only having 11 players against the Packers' 22, and the fact that the Colts' ProLine bases had not come in yet. "Well, I just don't know about all that," Peyton explained. "If you really look back at that last play, we very well could have won that game. I had plenty of time to throw, and it was the first time not one of my receivers got open. If any one of them would have been open we would have scored and won the game on that play." It was pointed out about how slow Manning's base was on the last play. "You're right on that point. That had to be the slowest base ever to come off the assembly line. But then again, I didn't mind that because I never thought I would be in a situation where I would have to run. I knew from the pre-game warmups that my receivers would be getting open all game long. And with a top runner like Edgerrin James, who knew I'd be the one called upon to run the ball in on the last play? That was just a highly unusual situation. Slow base or not, again, if any receiver would have been open we would have won the game."

The commissioner will be ordering 11 more players for the Colts so they will have a full 22-man team before their next game. Their ProLine bases should arrive some time this week as well.